I am so glad I decided to watch this movie. However, at the end I was filled with sadness. Then I watched the deleted scene of him reuniting with his long lost love and I was then completely depressed.
Throughout this movie, you see this vibrant, brilliant person, battling with more and more of his demons. Gradually you see him losing his mind and a piece of himself. I was mortified to watch this energetic kid turn more and more into an old, half spent adult. Its not to say that he isn't still brilliant and a wonderful artist. He is. It just looks as if his body is weathering from all the demons in his head.
What really got me is during the movie everyone keeps saying how great it was that he was able not to attain his dream girl and thats what made his music and art so brilliant and that his dream girl wasn't "really" that important in his heart. I think all that is wrong. As soon as he saw her after 26 years, all he could do is stare at her and ask her if she would marry him and tell her that he won't let her go.
Would he have made all that music if he had gotten his wish 26 years ago to be with his dream girl? Probably not. But how can we say that thats for the better. Thats a totally selfish thing to say.
While watching the movie and seeing Daniel Johnston as the older Daniel Johnston, I couldn't help but think that he physically looks a lot like my dad. It also got me to think of what it would be like for us and for my dad if my dad didn't suffer from all his diseases. What did the world and I miss out on from my dad being the way he is? I think that made me incredibly sad as well.
I wish I could sing and play an instrument. I am so inspired to sing some of Johnston's songs, especially the one that they play at the end of the movie.
This movie was amazing and will stay in my mind for a very long time!
*** ALSO***
It is incredible how much time and energy this person spent on documenting his own life. He essentially wrote his own documentary and someone else added a few things and put it all together. This inspires me to leave more traces of myself and my life behind.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Friday, July 13, 2007
the 12 step program...
step one...
A> Morning Pages... every morning, for better or worse.
B> Artist Time... at least 2 hours a week
C> Find the Monsters of Your Past... remember them and confront them.
D> Affirmations... screw what the censors say!
E>Old Champions... at least 3
F> Letter to self
G> Avenge yourself, tell the Monsters what you think of them now.
H> Take your artist for a walk...
I start my morning pages in 10+ hours... I hope I can keep up with that for 7 days... till Thursday.
The hardest part will be spending time and walking with my artist, I need to get properly motivated!
"Every blade of grass has its Angel that bends over it and whispers, "Grow, grow."
-Talmud
A> Morning Pages... every morning, for better or worse.
B> Artist Time... at least 2 hours a week
C> Find the Monsters of Your Past... remember them and confront them.
D> Affirmations... screw what the censors say!
E>Old Champions... at least 3
F> Letter to self
G> Avenge yourself, tell the Monsters what you think of them now.
H> Take your artist for a walk...
I start my morning pages in 10+ hours... I hope I can keep up with that for 7 days... till Thursday.
The hardest part will be spending time and walking with my artist, I need to get properly motivated!
"Every blade of grass has its Angel that bends over it and whispers, "Grow, grow."
-Talmud
Dear Blogger
I have been neglecting you as of late. I assume that will change soon...
I have been reading a sort of self help book, the Artist's Way, by Julia Cameron and I believe that I have found my second bible.
If anyone knows me I am not at all emotionally connected to my religion. I've had issues with religion all my life. It was not so much the lack of believing but the lack of reason to believe. My theory was always to do just enough to be on the safe side; get cool points for trying.
Perhaps the problem with me and religion has always lied in my inability to fit in. After a while it turned to an in-desire to fit in. I rather be alone than amid a group of like minded individuals. I rarely feel pride in anything that involves group effort and have never really been patriotic (although I have my loyalties). "If everyone else is doing it then what is the point," I always wondered? Somewhere along the line religion got placed into a category of group projects I didn't belong to.
However, with Cameron's book I feel that perhaps religion (or at least the interpretation of it that I chose to follow) can have a place in my life and in my art. The gist of the book can probably be summed up with one poignant quote:
"We are, ourselves, creations. And we, in turn, are meant to continue creativity by being creative ourselves."
Now, I must make it clear that I am in no way preaching religion or the power of Moses, Jesus Christ, Alah, (or any other recognizable religious figure ) to any reader (if any exist). I am simply saying that for me, perhaps there is something in this book that may help me gain a deeper understanding of myself and my art.
This book has a 12 week, 12 step program to creative rediscovery, which may be what I have been searching for in the Masters Program at VSW but not finding. Maybe this book is that 15% that I need to push me past the hurdles that I have faced within my art work. That 15% may be whats standing between me and my confidence as an artist and as a human being.
Who knows, this may be the last entry before a life altering event.
So here's to trying new things and to new beginnings....
... see you on the other side...
-Rona G
I have been reading a sort of self help book, the Artist's Way, by Julia Cameron and I believe that I have found my second bible.
If anyone knows me I am not at all emotionally connected to my religion. I've had issues with religion all my life. It was not so much the lack of believing but the lack of reason to believe. My theory was always to do just enough to be on the safe side; get cool points for trying.
Perhaps the problem with me and religion has always lied in my inability to fit in. After a while it turned to an in-desire to fit in. I rather be alone than amid a group of like minded individuals. I rarely feel pride in anything that involves group effort and have never really been patriotic (although I have my loyalties). "If everyone else is doing it then what is the point," I always wondered? Somewhere along the line religion got placed into a category of group projects I didn't belong to.
However, with Cameron's book I feel that perhaps religion (or at least the interpretation of it that I chose to follow) can have a place in my life and in my art. The gist of the book can probably be summed up with one poignant quote:
"We are, ourselves, creations. And we, in turn, are meant to continue creativity by being creative ourselves."
Now, I must make it clear that I am in no way preaching religion or the power of Moses, Jesus Christ, Alah, (or any other recognizable religious figure ) to any reader (if any exist). I am simply saying that for me, perhaps there is something in this book that may help me gain a deeper understanding of myself and my art.
This book has a 12 week, 12 step program to creative rediscovery, which may be what I have been searching for in the Masters Program at VSW but not finding. Maybe this book is that 15% that I need to push me past the hurdles that I have faced within my art work. That 15% may be whats standing between me and my confidence as an artist and as a human being.
Who knows, this may be the last entry before a life altering event.
So here's to trying new things and to new beginnings....
... see you on the other side...
-Rona G
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