... I think I'm coming down with negativity.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

To Loath Thyself

Is it possible to make work that you hate and still make good work? Hate is as strong of an emotion as love.

I recall making work that angered a lot of people. I particularly hated the work. Not so much the final piece but the whole process of coming up with the idea and creating it. However I loved that the work elicited such strong emotions from the audience. A few people walked away from it understanding the goal and appreciating that I just put then through 8 minutes or so of hell. It was a mad science experiment influenced by my attitude towards some pretty insane circumstances. I was hateful and angry and I created work that people hated and were angry over. I would most certainly do it again.

That experience, however, is not what I am referring to here. What I am interested in is if a work can me successfully made but with the artist hating the out come?

I find myself going back to work I did in the past and absolutely saying to myself "what was I thinking, I HATE this thing" while simultaneously people coming up to me saying that they love what I did. Its a compliment for sure and I appreciate the insight my audience has. I just feel a strong aversion to my own work.

Perhaps that is precisely what keeps me making more and new work. I try to smooth out and rethink ideas and executions of work. Could my aversion of my own work be the thing that keeps me going and striving to go farther and continue on the path of art making? Time will tell.

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